I just realized that I have spent over 30 minutes feverishly configuring, reconfiguring, searching and researching how to resolve the fact that I can't check my e-mail. Send and Receive --> Google --> New Tab --> IMAP configuration --> Yahoo --> Send and Receive --> Reword my search --> Open webmail....you know how it ends (or sometimes doesn't end in a feat of mania).
I am in Beijing, China, sitting at the Starbucks attached to the Holiday Inn Express where I am staying with my mother for this whirlwind, 2 1/2 day trip. Jetlag woke me up just before 4 in the morning, and I tossed and turned then got up and paced for about an hour waiting to go downstairs for a fix of the precious wireless. My mind raced in bed with everything I "needed" to do before we left for our trip to the Great Wall. You know, the essentials like check my bank balance, find out how much it costs me to use my iPhone internationally, check the news headlines, finish my download of 24: Redemption so I have it to watch for the flight home (that was my primary goal, by the way) and, of course, check at least two of my 5-8 email addresses (I've lost count).
But I am in China, where the internet is regulated (somehow, I'm not exactly sure how). So, I suppose I wasn't surprised to find that IMAP wouldn't connect to my server or even that I couldn't connect via webmail. But surely, surely there's a workaround! I sure wish I would have set my emails to forward to Gmail or Yahoo Mail - even those email addresses that I have set to forward from other email addresses. What was I thinking? Do I pay for a Yahoo Mail account so I can use their client to POP? I am I ever going to survive another two whole days without it? How have I survived so far? Certainly the world is falling apart because my inbox has laid dormant for over 24 hours!
So, yeah...OK...I'll admit I have a slight problem. What sucks is the realization that it's far worse than just my addiction to technology; rather, it's some sort of sick, self-righteous prophecy that the world as it is affected by me will crumble in my absence and without my direction. It's driven by some sort of fear of not staying in touch...of not being included or available to make decisions so I can fulfill the prophecy in my own mind that they're all better off if they depend and succumb to my involvement and ideas. If I'm not there to respond, they might make decisions without consulting me. Not to mention the probability that they'll make decisions that don't include me.
My greatest fears are that I would be ordinary and lonely. I spend most of my energy striving toward achieving extraordinary status, and the rest of it making sure I am included and loved. I admit this very raw and real statement to the world (expecting all two of my readers to be taken back with shock) because it's time we all come clean with what our motivations are. Understanding our motivations in the context of what we truly desire and set out to achieve is the first step in controlling the addictions that keep us spiraling further and further from our ultimate potential.
I think the world will live just fine while ignoring my existence over the next few days and I think I'll keep that iPhone in airplane mode. At least my episode of 24 just finished downloading (finally), so I'll have Jack Bauer to keep me company on the long flight home.
On the bright side, and I know many people will think I'm evil for saying so, my Grande Caramel Machiatto tastes exactly the same in Denver, Santa Barbara, London, Ko Samui, and even Beijing. My hats off to Starbucks for such successful brand consistency...down to the taste off their product. I'm sitting in an obvious American Bubble, where my 32RMB coffee (about $4.75) costs about as much as the shop owners across the street make in a week. I am either terribly spoiled, blessed, or oblivious...or all of the above.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
ForeclosedHomes.com
On September 10, 2008, we (finally) announced the launch of our brand new website, ForeclosedHomes.com.
Here marks the end - and the beginning - of an important journey. It was, hands down, the biggest product launch anyone here at Bargain Network had ever worked on. For me, it was an exciting opportunity to have a significant product that I could take a great deal of ownership in. It would carry me off into the sunset of my career.
In many ways, my prediction was frighteningly accurate. Corporate transitions and restructuring made it nearly impossible to hire on the much needed talent for the planning and execution of this project, so I dove in head first to fill in where I could to make it happen. I quickly became the Product Manager, Information Architect, Visual Designer, and later sprinkled on a bit of Project and even Software Development management. The week we launched the website was the week I was invited and ultimately promoted to join the executive Bargain Network (dba ForeclosedHomes.com) team. While this has all been great experience for me and I've enjoyed great success as a side-effect, the truth is this has been one of the most challenging seasons in my life...and definitely in my professional career.
For now, I can honestly say we launched a beautiful Beta product that I am ultimately proud of. We decided early on that it would be a BETA launch. Looking back, I would say I lost sight of that towards the end. Having been the principal product owner and user experience and visual designer, I got so wrapped up in my "vision" that it became my baby. So, when it came down to the wire and product requirements got stripped and corners were cut, I took it personally. In the aftermath of the marathon our product and software development teams just completed, I'm trying to find solid footing so I can assess our current situation without making it a personal endeavor.
So today, we're talking Post-Mortem...which we all agree is a shitty title for a meeting that's supposed to help us improve our process. I'll go with Scott's suggestion of calling it "Did Well, Do Better". Regardless of what it's called, I believe this meeting will be critical to our go-forward success. Perhaps when I have time I can delve into a little more details of our product launch. For now I'll sum it up by saying I've been disappointed that it's not perfect. As a product manager, but especially as a user experience designer, I could really benefit from taking more pride in projects that are "good enough". If anything, to benefit the team by acknowledging the hard work and extra hours that went into the launch. Really, the "glass half full" analogy applies.
In any case, I'm hoping we'll see this meeting happen this week. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the wind down and am eagerly looking forward to hearing what our users like and don't like about our website. If you're reading this, let me know!
Here marks the end - and the beginning - of an important journey. It was, hands down, the biggest product launch anyone here at Bargain Network had ever worked on. For me, it was an exciting opportunity to have a significant product that I could take a great deal of ownership in. It would carry me off into the sunset of my career.
In many ways, my prediction was frighteningly accurate. Corporate transitions and restructuring made it nearly impossible to hire on the much needed talent for the planning and execution of this project, so I dove in head first to fill in where I could to make it happen. I quickly became the Product Manager, Information Architect, Visual Designer, and later sprinkled on a bit of Project and even Software Development management. The week we launched the website was the week I was invited and ultimately promoted to join the executive Bargain Network (dba ForeclosedHomes.com) team. While this has all been great experience for me and I've enjoyed great success as a side-effect, the truth is this has been one of the most challenging seasons in my life...and definitely in my professional career.
For now, I can honestly say we launched a beautiful Beta product that I am ultimately proud of. We decided early on that it would be a BETA launch. Looking back, I would say I lost sight of that towards the end. Having been the principal product owner and user experience and visual designer, I got so wrapped up in my "vision" that it became my baby. So, when it came down to the wire and product requirements got stripped and corners were cut, I took it personally. In the aftermath of the marathon our product and software development teams just completed, I'm trying to find solid footing so I can assess our current situation without making it a personal endeavor.
So today, we're talking Post-Mortem...which we all agree is a shitty title for a meeting that's supposed to help us improve our process. I'll go with Scott's suggestion of calling it "Did Well, Do Better". Regardless of what it's called, I believe this meeting will be critical to our go-forward success. Perhaps when I have time I can delve into a little more details of our product launch. For now I'll sum it up by saying I've been disappointed that it's not perfect. As a product manager, but especially as a user experience designer, I could really benefit from taking more pride in projects that are "good enough". If anything, to benefit the team by acknowledging the hard work and extra hours that went into the launch. Really, the "glass half full" analogy applies.
In any case, I'm hoping we'll see this meeting happen this week. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the wind down and am eagerly looking forward to hearing what our users like and don't like about our website. If you're reading this, let me know!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Conditioning Specialists Lifestyle Transformation Challenge
My friend Doug at Conditioning Specialists shared this video recap of their Lifestyle Transformation Challenge. I think it's pretty incredible (and speaks of Doug's passion for helping people succeed), so I wanted to share.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Part of the Purple: One Year Later
This weekend I had the privilege of attending the 2008 San Diego Rock n' Roll Marathon and cheering on our latest batch of Santa Barbara's Team in Training (or TnTers, as we are so fondly called). This was my first trip back to San Diego since running the same marathon with TnT last year, so I was particularly looking forward to a nostalgic weekend. In the end, however, the nostalgia would fall second to to the amazing overwhelm I experienced from the sidelines as the sea of purple rushed passed me at every vantage point.
I was overwhelmed by their energy. Overwhelmed by their passion. Overwhelmed with a deep sense of appreciation and respect for each individual in purple. I was blown away by the dedication to the cause and floored by the thousands of names written on skin, jerseys, and ribbons of those who are fighting, have won, and have lost their battle with blood cancer. I can't think of a time when I have ever been more proud to be a part of something...part of the purple.
Like every TnT event, there is a huge pasta party the night before to celebrate and prepare for the race. Every pasta party event has an honored teammate that addresses the crowd - someone who has experienced their own battle of cancer and tells their story of survival. (This was my third pasta party, so that had been my experience.) But, this year's honored teammate's story was a little different. His name was Gordie, and three years ago he was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. He went on to explain that he has no bone marrow donor match, so his disease is not curable.
"So," he said, "I can’t give you a heroic story about how I beat cancer because I haven’t. I still have it."
His words struck me deeply. And, to my amazement, he went on to announce that he was running the next day's marathon. In fact, he had several TnT events under his belt including a triathalon and a half-ironman. He explained that, at some point during his illness, he got tired of being sick and decided to be more active. I had trouble processing what he was saying - so, he's sick and he's still training for and participating in these events? I mean, I have a hard time going to Saturday morning practice if I have a couple drinks the night before, but this guy has leukemia and he's running a marathon??!! There's that word again...just overwhelming.
Gordie ended his amazing speech (which, by the way, was adapted from his original story downloadable here) by explaining that the life expectancy of his disease has historically been 3-5 years from diagnosis, and he was at year three. Funding for cancer research and development has extended Gordie's life, and much of that funding is thanks to the dedicated and passionate TnTers in that room as well as those of old. I continue to be blown away by the impact this team has on the world. That's right...the entire world. At this rate, a cure for cancer has got to be just around the corner...what an amazing thought to ponder.
The next day us support staff began to line the street at about 6:30am. The air was crisp and, though the race hadn't even begun, the energy in the air was high. I don't mean to get metaphysical in my description, but really there is no other way to describe it. People talk about these "energies" or "auras" that are all around us. If you don't believe in that I suggest you spectate a marathon, just once. It's the strongest sensation of high energy I've ever felt. Last year, I thought it was my anxiety and butterflies surrounding the thought of running the race. But this year was absolutely no different...it was intense!
As the Santa Barbara Team's Historian Captain, my job was to snap as many photos of our crew as possible. As I struggled with picking out our participants in the crowd of 22,000, I was overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of the athletes. In particular, the energy projected from the Santa Barbara team, who I have been fortunate enough to spend some time training with over the past five months. Their enthusiasm was a consistent one that I saw at mile 4, 14, and 23. I thought of what a tremendous feat this marathon was for all of them, and saw each participant soaking up every minute of it. Try to imagine running or walking for 4, 5, 6...even 7 hours straight and still smiling from ear to ear at the finish line. Incredible.
I'll be honest, I was choked up. And, as if that wasn't enough, as I was skimming the crowd with my camera my lens just happened to catch Gordie just as he was running by. At that moment, he threw up his arm in victory of his fourth mile...a moment I just happened to capture on film. That was like the icing on the cake of my spectating experience. There's so much to be cherished about this amazing team. There's so much to learn from survivors like Gordie. There's so much to be grateful for in a world where there are so many people doing extraordinary things, like running 26.2 miles, to fight cancer.
Gordie celebrates crossing the 4th mile marker
Last year, I remember being so grateful that I got to wear the purple TnT jersey during the race. It meant I wasn't running the race for or by myself. It meant that I was a part of something extraordinary. This year, though I didn't have the opportunity to cross that finish line, my appreciation for the purple stood strong. I am proud to know these dedicated and passionate athletes. I am proud to be a part of this team.
And, most of all, I couldn't be more proud to be part of the purple.
» View photos online at sbtnt.smugmug.com/. All proceeds benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
I was overwhelmed by their energy. Overwhelmed by their passion. Overwhelmed with a deep sense of appreciation and respect for each individual in purple. I was blown away by the dedication to the cause and floored by the thousands of names written on skin, jerseys, and ribbons of those who are fighting, have won, and have lost their battle with blood cancer. I can't think of a time when I have ever been more proud to be a part of something...part of the purple.
Like every TnT event, there is a huge pasta party the night before to celebrate and prepare for the race. Every pasta party event has an honored teammate that addresses the crowd - someone who has experienced their own battle of cancer and tells their story of survival. (This was my third pasta party, so that had been my experience.) But, this year's honored teammate's story was a little different. His name was Gordie, and three years ago he was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. He went on to explain that he has no bone marrow donor match, so his disease is not curable.
"So," he said, "I can’t give you a heroic story about how I beat cancer because I haven’t. I still have it."
His words struck me deeply. And, to my amazement, he went on to announce that he was running the next day's marathon. In fact, he had several TnT events under his belt including a triathalon and a half-ironman. He explained that, at some point during his illness, he got tired of being sick and decided to be more active. I had trouble processing what he was saying - so, he's sick and he's still training for and participating in these events? I mean, I have a hard time going to Saturday morning practice if I have a couple drinks the night before, but this guy has leukemia and he's running a marathon??!! There's that word again...just overwhelming.
Gordie ended his amazing speech (which, by the way, was adapted from his original story downloadable here) by explaining that the life expectancy of his disease has historically been 3-5 years from diagnosis, and he was at year three. Funding for cancer research and development has extended Gordie's life, and much of that funding is thanks to the dedicated and passionate TnTers in that room as well as those of old. I continue to be blown away by the impact this team has on the world. That's right...the entire world. At this rate, a cure for cancer has got to be just around the corner...what an amazing thought to ponder.
The next day us support staff began to line the street at about 6:30am. The air was crisp and, though the race hadn't even begun, the energy in the air was high. I don't mean to get metaphysical in my description, but really there is no other way to describe it. People talk about these "energies" or "auras" that are all around us. If you don't believe in that I suggest you spectate a marathon, just once. It's the strongest sensation of high energy I've ever felt. Last year, I thought it was my anxiety and butterflies surrounding the thought of running the race. But this year was absolutely no different...it was intense!
As the Santa Barbara Team's Historian Captain, my job was to snap as many photos of our crew as possible. As I struggled with picking out our participants in the crowd of 22,000, I was overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of the athletes. In particular, the energy projected from the Santa Barbara team, who I have been fortunate enough to spend some time training with over the past five months. Their enthusiasm was a consistent one that I saw at mile 4, 14, and 23. I thought of what a tremendous feat this marathon was for all of them, and saw each participant soaking up every minute of it. Try to imagine running or walking for 4, 5, 6...even 7 hours straight and still smiling from ear to ear at the finish line. Incredible.
I'll be honest, I was choked up. And, as if that wasn't enough, as I was skimming the crowd with my camera my lens just happened to catch Gordie just as he was running by. At that moment, he threw up his arm in victory of his fourth mile...a moment I just happened to capture on film. That was like the icing on the cake of my spectating experience. There's so much to be cherished about this amazing team. There's so much to learn from survivors like Gordie. There's so much to be grateful for in a world where there are so many people doing extraordinary things, like running 26.2 miles, to fight cancer.
Gordie celebrates crossing the 4th mile marker
Last year, I remember being so grateful that I got to wear the purple TnT jersey during the race. It meant I wasn't running the race for or by myself. It meant that I was a part of something extraordinary. This year, though I didn't have the opportunity to cross that finish line, my appreciation for the purple stood strong. I am proud to know these dedicated and passionate athletes. I am proud to be a part of this team.
And, most of all, I couldn't be more proud to be part of the purple.
» View photos online at sbtnt.smugmug.com/. All proceeds benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Magic Light Foundation - Pass it On Campaign
A few weeks ago some friends and I embarked on a viral video project for my friend Marco over at the Magic Light Foundation. The video is part of their new Pass it On campaign to help raise awareness (and funding) for their documentary project Plight of the Fishermen. To learn more about the cause, visit the websites, view the video, and help us Pass it On!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Weird Dreams
Yes, I know I haven't posted in a LONG TIME. Wait, who am I talking to? No one reads this stupid thing but me!
I've been having some meaningful dreams - I never have meaningful dreams - and I just wanted a space to put them in writing before they are lost forever. Given my current pattern, I may have more to report on tomorrow...
The last 3 nights I have woken up in somewhat of a distress and unable to get back to sleep (despite the fact that I still don’t feel great and am still exhuasted). Monday night I didn’t think much of it, but both Tuesday and last night I realized I had be awakened by my dream, both of which appear to have reocurring themes:
Tuesday night (or Wed morning) I was dreaming that I was trying to drive my truck through a flood and was getting frustrated and panicky about the surrounding waters. But there were also tons of people trying to escape the flood, and they were fighting each other (and me) to get into the bed of my truck. But the more people I had hanging on to the truck and in the bed, the more my truck sank into the water. I was irritated and furious. When I finally made it to solid ground, I looked in the bed of my truck and saw that the people who were in it were badly injured and bloody. But I was so furious that I picked them up and dropped them on the ground without any regard for their well-being (I had a passenger who was helping me, but I don’t know who it was). Just as I was fighting the line between my anger and the ethics of leaving these people on the road to die, I woke up...
Last night (or this morning) I dreamt that I was following a Semi-Truck on the freeway in my old Jeep Wrangler. I was controlling the semi by driving my Jeep – basically it would mimic everything I did and I was in charge of making sure it stayed safe on the road. Before I knew it, my Jeep had accidentally gotten off on an exit while the semi continued down the freeway. I totally panicked. I knew that I was still controlling the semi but now I couldn’t see it. I tried to pull over, but I couldn’t just sit there because I still had to use my Jeep to get back on the freeway and check on the truck. So, I decided I would make a quick U-turn and speed back onto the freeway, thinking that if I did it fast enough I could get to the semi in time. But, once I made the U turn I couldn’t move forward – it was raining really hard and the water on the road was keeping my wheels from moving forward. They were just spinning and spinning...literally spinning my wheels. That’s when I woke up.
Definitely dependency is a theme in both dreams, but why do they involve driving and what’s with the floods/rain?
Is this heavy stuff or what?! :-)
I've been having some meaningful dreams - I never have meaningful dreams - and I just wanted a space to put them in writing before they are lost forever. Given my current pattern, I may have more to report on tomorrow...
The last 3 nights I have woken up in somewhat of a distress and unable to get back to sleep (despite the fact that I still don’t feel great and am still exhuasted). Monday night I didn’t think much of it, but both Tuesday and last night I realized I had be awakened by my dream, both of which appear to have reocurring themes:
Tuesday night (or Wed morning) I was dreaming that I was trying to drive my truck through a flood and was getting frustrated and panicky about the surrounding waters. But there were also tons of people trying to escape the flood, and they were fighting each other (and me) to get into the bed of my truck. But the more people I had hanging on to the truck and in the bed, the more my truck sank into the water. I was irritated and furious. When I finally made it to solid ground, I looked in the bed of my truck and saw that the people who were in it were badly injured and bloody. But I was so furious that I picked them up and dropped them on the ground without any regard for their well-being (I had a passenger who was helping me, but I don’t know who it was). Just as I was fighting the line between my anger and the ethics of leaving these people on the road to die, I woke up...
Last night (or this morning) I dreamt that I was following a Semi-Truck on the freeway in my old Jeep Wrangler. I was controlling the semi by driving my Jeep – basically it would mimic everything I did and I was in charge of making sure it stayed safe on the road. Before I knew it, my Jeep had accidentally gotten off on an exit while the semi continued down the freeway. I totally panicked. I knew that I was still controlling the semi but now I couldn’t see it. I tried to pull over, but I couldn’t just sit there because I still had to use my Jeep to get back on the freeway and check on the truck. So, I decided I would make a quick U-turn and speed back onto the freeway, thinking that if I did it fast enough I could get to the semi in time. But, once I made the U turn I couldn’t move forward – it was raining really hard and the water on the road was keeping my wheels from moving forward. They were just spinning and spinning...literally spinning my wheels. That’s when I woke up.
Definitely dependency is a theme in both dreams, but why do they involve driving and what’s with the floods/rain?
Is this heavy stuff or what?! :-)
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